James Bond is Actually an Alcoholic

Yes we all love to watch James Bond be all suave and dashing on the big screen but believe it or not, a new study suggests he may actually be a raging alcoholic.

In a new paper, titled “License to Swill,” researchers from the University of Otago in New Zealand argue, “There is strong and consistent evidence that James Bond has a chronic alcohol consumption problem at the ‘severe’ end of the spectrum.” 

They argue that since Bond debuted on screen sixty years ago, he was seen drinking 109 times, or an average of 4.5 times per movie. His consumption was particularly bad in 2008’s “Quantum of Solace,” where he had six martinis, which researchers say would put his blood alcohol level at about 0.36, which could be fatal.

And when he drinks he is far from responsible, engaging in risky behavior like fighting, car crashes, gambling, having sex with enemies and more. In fact, he is such a bad alcoholic, that the study finds he satisfies at least six of the 11 criteria for an abuse disorder.

Now if you think this study is odd, apparently that was the point. It actually won “Medical Journal of Australia’s” Christmas competition, where quirky studies go head-to-head with one another.

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